A Fuck A Day Will Keep The Doctor Away
Honestly, I’m not a big fan of WebMD most of the time. In a world where insurance rates are out of this world and many of us are forced to self diagnose, the good ol’ WebMD is always there to help you.
Except the answer is it’s always cancer.
Chest pain? WebMD says it might be cancer. Can’t sleep? Might be signs of cancer. Your earlobe hurt? Yup, earlobe cancer.
There IS one article on there that does have some positivity in it however. It outlines reasons why sex is good for you and we’ll summarize it here, BANG style of course.
So, let’s see why being fucked good will make you live longer.
(Also, if you need some medical attention, check out our in house doctor Angela White. It might be just the right cure. )
1. Lowers Blood Pressure
Many studies have shown that sexual intercourse, or fucking for those who don’t know what that means, lowers your overall systolic blood pressure.
Although you sometimes might feel like you’ll pop a vein when you’re really giving it your all, after all is said and done your blood pressure gets lower and stays so over time. This helps you live longer, and therefore, fuck for longer.
2. Cures Pain
We’re going to get all sciency here, but Barry R. Komisaruk, PhD, says that fucking and cumming releases hormones which include endorphins that block pain receptors in your brain.
Case in point…Ever stub your toe? Immediately try to cum and that pain will suddenly disappear 💪🏽
And if you don’t have someone that you can fuck, and need some help/inspiration to get that headache to go away, let BANG fill in and POOF! Like magic, it’s gone.
3. Actually Counts As Exercise
This might be great news for all of you who hate the gym. Although it won’t replace a bench press or treadmill, a good fuck does count as a workout. It bumps your heart-rate up and puts a lot of different muscles to use (depending on what you’re doing of course), making it a quite enjoyable workout.
Want to get technical? On average, you burn five calories a minute when you’re doing your thing. That’s four more calories than when you’re sitting doing nothing.
Conclusion? Stop sitting on the couch and start fucking. Oh, you can fuck on the couch too, of course.
4. Boosts Your Immune System
You should still be taking your Flintstones, but those who fuck more take fewer sick days. Doing the dirty actually releases antibodies which fight germs and other things that try to get you bedridden for all the wrong reasons.
So hop into bed and do the nasty before you end up in bed with something nasty. Does that make any sense?
5. Might Lessen Prostate Cancer
If you cum at least 21 times a month there is a lesser chance of you getting prostate cancer which is great, but you know, we all have full time jobs. Thankfully, this benefit is not just related to sex but also to beating your meat.
So, if you want to prevent becoming your own Discovery channel special in your 50’s as someone jams a camera up your ass, make sure you release pretty much daily!
6. It Eases Stress
Fucking lights up your brain with various chemicals like a Christmas tree, making you feel all sorts of good. It even has lasting effects like boosted self-esteem and confidence.
Ever come home super pissed ready to turn your place upside down? Just tell your partner you need to have emergency sex so plates stay in one piece.
You really can’t say no to that.
7. Improves Sleep
A fancy hormone called prolactin gets released right after you finish which is why you sometimes feel like you got KOe’d and want to take a little nappy nap.
Sometimes that’s not cool, so when you’re about to fall into your post fuck slumber and the person you just nailed gives you lip, tell them it’s proven science and send them a link to this here post. We’ll certainly appreciate it and it might also give you a chance to screw that person again.
There you have it. Solid proof that fucking actually helps your body stay clean. If you need any more “medical” advice, check out our nursing staff which includes Aj Applegate, Bridgette B and Angela White. They’ll know what to do.